Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
