I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
