I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
