the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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