We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
