what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I woke up under a house in Key West
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