If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
