there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
