you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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