Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize