Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Randomize
