I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
