it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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