I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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