Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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