we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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