we made out on top of his cat.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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