Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
