I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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