I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
