He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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