I feel great
I just peed on a car
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
So here I am, sexting at work.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
