No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize