thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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