I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
