I bet he comes in French.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
