we're chasing vodka with high fives
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
