hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
i now understand why vodka
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize