His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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