this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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