he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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