I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
