I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
