i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
