You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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