he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
