And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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