Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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