Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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