I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
