I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
As shirtless as possible
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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