It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
