Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
pray to the hookup gods
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
