I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize