before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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