do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
