matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
