the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
