he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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