Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Randomize
