i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
