Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize