is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize