Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
