my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize