i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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