so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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