got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
