you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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