her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize