Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
