she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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