p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I AM VODKA MAN
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
