So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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