OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize