i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
