I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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