Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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