Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
