Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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