Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You can't just leave with hair like that
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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