Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
worst night to have a conscience
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
