I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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